Today is the day , that I have admitted to myself I have an addiction with food , not just junk food all food , I have kept this quiet for years , not really realising it was an addiction , and with any addiction the first thing is admitting , and here not to family not to friends , I woke up this morning and thought , I have got an addiction to food , and I need to admit it , to finally stop the binge eating and bad habits , well here I am admitting it to the public , and hopefully by having followers and being honest on a daily basis with blogging about all my food and exercise , I will be able to BEAT THE BINGE EATING ! I know what I should be eating and for once and all , I want to achieve just that !!! I expect at times it may be hard, but I want this to be my honest food blog , and if it works , maybe it will inspire others too .
A little about me ,
I am a single Mum of 2 wonderful children , I work from home and have done for 11 years now , a huge negative regards eating, as every time I go to the kitchen I eat ! need a break from my desk , I go to the kitchen and eat .
Of course with all the stresses of divorce, finance, being Mum and Dad to my children and working so hard, juggle , juggle, for alot of people, of course food becomes the comfort .
And also this year has been especially hard, my daughter last December was diagnosed with Diabetis Type1 , a real traumatic experience , she was so so poorly and in intensive care in a foreign country (long story ) however once again , to help cope I turn to food for comfort, as it has been such a worrying year , (happy to say she is doing well and I am so proud )
I am 5ft 6 , and before children at the age of 26years, I was always 8and a half stone , average athletic girl , live by the sea , and love having fun , as the years have gone on I now weigh in at 11stone 8 , and I feel just awful , 4 years ago I was 10st 4 , and that felt pretty good but I wanted to be 9.7lbs, but now I am in shock , and really want to help myself !! I know being lighter and healthier , I will feel over the moon .
My family just say watch what you eat they have seen my weight pile on , I have admitted that its hard not to just have 1 biscuit , and my parents say , well its easy just have half , I never could confess, that once I start eating I just cant stop !!! I have no signs of feeling full , crave all the wrong foods , and keep eating and eating .
When I tell my best friend , I have got to stop food binging I now weight 11st 7, she just says , you dont need to worry you always look beautiful . very kind , but not what I want to hear ! and still she doesnt realise how bad my addiction has become .
I love exercise , I am a fan of Body Pump, Zumba, Bikram Yoga, Swimming , in fact if I had to choose a career again it would probably be fitness, however at the moment , the happy endorphins from doing my weekly classes are short , because as soon as I get home, my brain tells me I am even more hungry as I have done exercise, so I eat even more , I tell myself , exercise does not give me a liscense to binge eat , but I still do it !!! what a waste of money for those classes , I am not getting any where .
I have just turned 39 , and my positive mind says , I can do this ! I am scared that if I over eat , and become any bigger , I too could get Diabetis type 2 that is , or I worry any bit of bad food I eat ,it may cause cancer , I have started to worry alot about what I am eating and the damage it could be doing to me , I want to be a fit and healthy Mum , to be a shining example to my dear children , live along time for my children so I can care for them for many many years to come .
I am not following weight watchers or any other points programme (tried those and failed , possiby as not really teaching me to change my habits , and I always felt panicky and anxious when I ran out of daily points )
I have recently read the clean and lean book , and I believe everyword of the book , its just putting it into practice ! which is what I want to do .
I feel that admitting my food habits , showing my meals by photos and showing a photo of my saturday scales weigh in , It should give me the final determination , to BEAT MY FOOD ADDICTION .
So …………. this is my daily food blog (and exercise )
Wish me luck , hope you enjoy my daily blog , my plan is to do a weigh in every Saturday and of course show my results , I feel this will help me , please feel free to follow and join in , be lovely to maybe make some new friends along the way :)